Sizzling Summer Update!

Hello everyone!  Are you having a magical summer full of awesome festivals, trips to your local amusement park, and sports outings to support your favorite baseball team?

Hell, no you’re not!  It’s still 2020 and we’re still smack dab in the midst of checking random items off our apocalypse bingo card.  If you chose bat pandemics, toilet paper shortages, civil unrest, murder hornets, and overall chaos in general, then your psychic powers are way better than mine.

Since most of the fun summer activities are still under lockdown, I don’t have much of an exciting update for you today.  However, I’ll do my best to report in on what’s new with me.  Today’s topics include Strawberries, My Rummage Sale, Old Age, and New Names.  Ooh, sounds good doesn’t it?  Let’s dive right in!

1) Strawberries.  If you’ve been following along, you already know that I got a strawberry plant, AKA Berry Manilow, a month ago.  I’m happy to report that he’s doing marvelous!  I also got another strawberry plant, some fancy dirt, and made cages to keep out the pests from eating my crops.  When you divide the cost of supplies by the six berries produced by the two plants… well… the numbers aren’t in my favor.  Let’s just say that those berries are damn expensive!

2)  My Rummage Sale.  I had a rummage sale in June and it went really well.  We had a lot of shoppers (most not wearing masks, sadly) and got rid of a lot of crap.  It’s nice to see a clean garage.  There weren’t any notable customers, but I did see a fair amount of interesting t-shirts.  One man had an ‘I support the right to arm bears’ shirt.  He actually bought a lot of stuff and I liked him right away.  My husband and I took turns complaining to each other about the prices.  He told me I priced stuff too low, and then he started taking any crazy offers that people threw at him just to get rid of stuff.  Lessons learned:  people will take stuff if it’s free, but records aren’t popular and neither are clothes.  If you don’t want to haul stuff to the local thrift store, price it as FREE from the get go, and it will get gone.

3)  Old Age.  I woke up one day in May and suddenly decided I had unsightly facial wrinkles.  Thus began a quest to get rid of aforementioned wrinkles.  Primarily I have crow’s feet, but just around one eye, which I find strange.  Anyway, I did some research and polled my Facebook Reader group.  In the end, Olay Regenerist won and I bought two jars because it was buy one, get one half off.  I expected to slather that shit all over my face and miraculously wake up looking ten years younger with not a wrinkle to be found.  Obviously that was not the case.  If a magic potion could erase wrinkles, it would not cost $25 per jar.  Lesson learned.  I applied the cream morning and night, without fail, for one solid month.  What were the results?  I started waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to sleep straight through.  Usually I’m a very sound sleeper.  Also, I have an eye-floater now.  I looked at the sun (I’m a dumbass!), saw a FLASH, and then suddenly had an eye floater.  Obviously I blame the sleeplessness and eye floater on whatever toxic chemicals make up the ingredient list in Olay Regenerist.  I immediately halted that experiment and moved on.  My new brilliant idea is to put Vaseline petroleum jelly on the crow’s feet and see what that does.  If you have any anti-wrinkle advice, I’m all ears.  Please share.  Also, I religiously wear sunscreen and avoid the sun at all costs, so you don’t need to tell me that will help stop Father Time.  I’m SPF 100 all the way.

4)  New Names.  A while back I wanted to try my hand at writing erotic short stories in attempt to ‘get rich quick.’  Obviously I did no such thing.  I created a pen name (Alta Lavoy) and cranked out a whopping total of four stories.  I found that it’s hard to write all sex, all the time.  Also, I can’t in good conscience charge $2.99 for a 30-50 page short story, which is the going rate.  In the end, it was a pain in the ass to keep track of two names, try and decide if a story was an ‘Alta Story’ or a ‘Grace Story,’ and deal with all that went along with marketing and promo for two names.  That led me to get rid of the Alta Lavoy pen name on Amazon and transfer Alta’s four stories to Grace’s name.  I was very hesitant to do this, because nothing goes smoothly when you’re dealing with Amazon.  Much to my utter disbelief, the process could not have been easier.  That’s how Grace got four more stories added to her Amazon Author Page.

But wait… there’s more!

In case you’re curious about these stories, I’d like to invite you to check out two of them for the low, low price of absolutely FREE.

Up first, we have… drumroll…

Stuck in an Elevator. (This is a F/F first time lesbian erotic encounter)

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07HDVJ3DV

During the worst heat wave in years, Tanya finds herself stuck in an elevator with a total stranger. The power goes out leaving them trapped with no hope of immediate rescue.

When the temperature rises, both clothes and inhibitions are cast aside. Will our voluptuous heroine give in to her secret fantasies and explore a whole new world with this tantalizing stranger?

Come along for the journey with Tanya and her uninhibited female companion…and find out what happens when they give new meaning to the phrase, ‘going down.’

——-    ———–    ————-    ————-

Next up, we have…

Teasing the Unknown Caller  (This is a M/F erotic encounter.)

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07N6MG8PR

Being raised by an overprotective mafia kingpin meant that college co-ed Eva had no opportunity to explore her deepest desires.

When a chance phone call from a telemarketer interrupted Eva while she was taking matters into her own hands, things quickly escalated between the two strangers.

Captivated by her dirty words, Martin is all too eager to meet Eva in person and turn her fantasies into reality. After all, everyone deserves a first time they’ll never forget…

——-  ————      —————-            —————

Both those short stories are absolutely FREE on Amazon from July 1-5.  Why am I being nice and giving away free stuff?  What’s the catch?  Cuz there’s gotta be a catch, right?

Well, sort of.  ‘Stuck in an Elevator’ is a stand-alone story.  ‘Teasing the Unknown Caller’ kinda leaves you hanging and wondering what might happen next in the sexy world of Martin and Eva.  Well, wonder no more!

‘Watching Their Forbidden Tryst,’ book two in the Martin and Eva series, coincidentally goes LIVE on AMAZON today for only 99 cents!  Imagine that!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08BLF7BKR

What should innocent Eva do when she finds herself trapped in the kitchen pantry while two of her father’s employees have a forbidden erotic encounter mere feet away?

The curious woman becomes unbelievably aroused by this first time voyeur experience, and later has the tables turned when she plays the part of exhibitionist while a total stranger watches.

–           ——-  —————-            ————-     —————-

Ooh!  Such sizzling reads to melt your kindle in the July heat!

Okay, that’s all I have for today.  I’m hard at work on my next book.  It’s a full length suspenseful romantic comedy that I hope to have out in the next few months.  Take care of yourself, keep on truckin’ through 2020, and don’t forget to share your wrinkle cures.

Til next time!

Grace