Hello everyone! I hope this newsletter/blog post finds you well and not overwhelmed by the holidays. It seems like forty-two seconds after the trick-or-treaters have left with the Halloween candy, it’s suddenly time for Christmas. Trees and decorations are prominently displayed in the store, special sales spring up around every corner begging me to spend my dollars on their low, low prices, and the season is upon us in full force.
It freaks me out. Time seems to pass faster the older I get. This year I’m only exchanging gifts with two people and it feels quite liberating.
Okay, in the interest of full disclosure, one of those ‘people’ is a dog and therefore it’s not actually a gift exchange since she’s not buying me anything.
I greatly dislike the pressure/stress of “what do you want for Christmas?” “I don’t know, what do YOU want?” and the rush to come up with the perfect gift for people who just buy whatever they want all year long anyway. I’m looking forward to this new ‘downsizing’ attitude of not wasting money on junk that people don’t really need anyway.
But I’ve gone off topic, as I’m fond of doing. Today’s blog post involves ‘going down the rabbit hole.’
What am I talking about? Anytime I go online to look for something, I usually end up spending precious time browsing around for other things totally not related to my initial search. I fall down the rabbit hole and keep going deeper and deeper until I forget what I came for.
Take last week for example. I had to do an author takeover in a Facebook reader group. I went online for a few minutes to search for takeover games. This turned into an hour on Pinterest finding graphic teasers of really deep questions. But I didn’t just find one, I found about twenty of them! So if you’re in my reader group, prepare yourself for an onslaught of weekly questions!
Ah, hell. Let’s do one right now.
As soon as I saw this question, I started to laugh. It brought back a fond memory of one of the first dates I went on with my husband. I think our very first date involved going out to dinner somewhere, but our second date landed us at the movie theater.
We hadn’t really known each other well at all, since we met through mutual friends, and neither of us wanted to be the one to pick the movie lest we upset the other.
So we decided on ‘The English Patient.’ In case you’re unfamiliar with this movie, or you can’t remember back to 1996, let me refresh your memory with the synopsis:
The sweeping expanses of the Sahara are the setting for a passionate love affair in this adaptation of Michael Ondaatje’s novel. A badly burned man, Laszlo de Almasy (Ralph Fiennes), is tended to by a nurse, Hana (Juliette Binoche), in an Italian monastery near the end of World War II. His past is revealed through flashbacks involving a married Englishwoman (Kristin Scott Thomas) and his work mapping the African landscape. Hana learns to heal her own scars as she helps the dying man.
Let me first explain that I like horror movies with zombies, romantic comedies, action adventure suspense shoot-em-ups, and not much else. I do not like historical love affairs, anything too thought provoking, or anything requiring me to read a subtitle.
Yeah, I’m a simple girl with simple tastes. I drink beer, not wine. I like to read humorous books and try to avoid anything with ‘all the feels.’
I think ‘The English Patient’ got a lot of buzz and might have even won some awards. So my date (who is now my husband) must have suggested we go see the movie. Maybe he was trying to impress me. I don’t remember.
We went to the movie, he paid, and we took our seats. I might have asked him what the movie was about and he probably replied that he wasn’t exactly sure but the reviews were good.
I believe we went into it with no expectations.
Let me tell you that it sucked so bad I wanted to fall asleep.
I honestly don’t remember much about the plot except that I hated the movie. Some of the thoughts running through my head were…
“Why is this so awful?”
“Why is this so fucking long?”
“Is this almost over?”
“I don’t even understand what’s happening right now.”
“If my date actually likes this movie, I might have to end things.”
The move was 162 minutes long, which is about fifteen hours if you do the math. Okay, not really, but it felt like it.
After the dud finally ended and the credits rolled, I turned to my date and asked, “What did you think of that?”
He said, “Um…it was…really, really…dumb.”
Obviously I married him. We have the same taste in movies, which is one of the important foundations for a lasting relationship! Trust, respect, loyalty, and great communication are important too.
So, dear reader, now that you know my answer… what is YOUR worst movie ever and why?
I look forward to your tales of woe regarding movies that made you wish you could have the two hours of your life back.
Have a great weekend and you’ll hear from me soon!