Hello everyone! I know it’s been over TWO weeks since my last newsletter/blog post. While it’s true that I’ve been procrastinating in that department, I haven’t been a total slacker. I started writing a new book and I’ve been feverishly typity-type-typing away while the idea is fresh in my head.
Since nothing new and exciting is going on right now, I’ll have to pull from the archives of the life of Grace to give you an entertaining story. Don’t worry though, I have plenty to pick from. Today we’ll be discussing the topic of LOVE. (Please insert hearts, flowers, and swoony faces here…I’m bad with emoticons so you’ll have to do it yourself).
Now, you may wonder what kind of amazing and adventurous life of passion that a romance writer leads. I know that I envision Danielle Steel sitting at a computer in some glamorous high rise penthouse in New York City staring out her picture window at the starry skyline. She’s wearing flowing silken robes, her hair is done to perfection, and she’s led a wildly thrilling life from which to draw inspiration for her stories. Yes, I know I’m crazy and that’s probably a bizarre scenario that I just made up in my head. Since I don’t really know anything about her life, I can’t say if it’s true or not. However…I definitely know it’s not true in my case.
Let’s take a walk down memory lane of Grace’s love life. It’s depressing and full of potholes, so don’t get your hopes up. If it was a movie, it would compare more along the lines of “Night of the Living Dead” instead of “Pretty Woman.” Yes, I just compared zombies to hookers. Moving right along…
Today we will cover some of the wonderful lines that 100% REAL MEN have used when speaking to me. If you think these are going to be pick-up lines…oh boy…are you in for a letdown!
1) “I don’t want to go out with you because I’m thinking of becoming a priest.” (said by some douche I liked in 10th grade. Not sure if he became a priest or not.)
2) “I’m gay.” (said by some guy I liked in 12th grade. In his defense, he really was gay, so I couldn’t blame him for that. It’s not my fault I had the wrong equipment.)
3) “There’s really no chemistry in my opinion. Kissing you would be the same as kissing a sponge.” (said by some jackass that has no class. How the hell does he know what it’s like to kiss a sponge? Is he sitting around all day making out with them? Maybe he should try women who kiss back and aren’t all moldy and rotten from doing the dishes too many times without being rinsed out. Yes, I’m still bitter about this one even though it was literally twenty-two years ago.)
4) “You’re going to be a great catch…for someone else one day.” (said by some dickface that I really, really liked. It doesn’t matter because he had a couple girls going at the same time and I’m pretty sure he didn’t understand the word ‘Monogamy.’ Sigh. He was a good kisser though…at least we got to that part because he didn’t know that some people kiss sponges instead of women. Thank goodness for that!)
I’m sure there are more, but I blocked them out in order to avoid further trauma to my self-esteem. Please don’t feel sorry for me in the slightest. After a string of loser-dorks, I met my husband and lived happily ever after (so far…so good!). I could actually devote a whole blog post on the lines my husband has used over the years. If you’ve read any of my books, chances are you’re familiar with them. Would you like an example?
In ‘My Dirty Detour,’ Rocky tells Violet one of my favorite lines EVER:
“I would never do anything to jeopardize my time on Earth with you.”
So romantic! There’s no way in Hell I could come up with something so swoon-worthy. This is a real line that my husband actually told me. Perhaps I should put it in the context in which it was used so you could gain some perspective on the situation?
We had gone out to a bar with a couple of friends and I asked him if I could drive home since I wasn’t keeping track of how much he drank. He then smiled, looked directly into my eyes, and blurted the ‘jeopardize my time on Earth’ line. In case you’re wondering how I reacted…I broke out laughing and demanded that he give me the keys to the car. I knew he was feeling no pain because the man does NOT talk like that in everyday, ordinary life. But it made a hell of a good book dialogue line a few years later.
See…art imitates life.
There’s your story for the day and now we can all carry on with our lives. Since I’m busy working on my newest project and have no books to promote, perhaps you’d like to know about some other books that are available?
Cocky Rockstar by Faleena Hopkins…currently FREE (but please double check before one-clicking!)
Noah by Liz Gavin is a new release priced at only 99 Cents…
Noah Cartwright owns a successful bistro in a southern Brazilian beach as he struggles to put together his rock band. He was burnt by betrayal years ago, but hasn’t given up on finding Miss Right.
Ana Oliveira hides dark secrets from her past as she attends tables and studies to get her teaching credentials. She knows Mr. Right is a fantasy. She stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago.
They’ve got little in common, except for a sizzling hot chemistry, which could jeopardize their future plans. Yet they gravitate towards each other and the resulting collision changes both forever.
Knight’s Edge is a series of standalone romances without cliffhangers and with guaranteed Happily Ever Afters. If you love hot rockers and their sassy ladies, you must read this series.
One-click this book today to get Noah’s story and learn how the Knight’s Edge began and made it to the top.
A Lifetime without you by Stephanie Nicole Norris…pre-order for $3.99
It was the season that brought families together, for trick or treating, and Thanksgiving dinners. But for Octavia Davenport, this season symbolized an era in her life when she lost everything. For years, Octavia was alone living a moderately single life, but then she met the owner of Rose Security Group, and suddenly things began to change. A blossoming friendship evolved and with it came an unrestrained indulgence to connect with him on every level. Desire had never stirred her until him, and Octavia didn’t want to deny herself what she so hungrily craved.
As the head honcho of the Midwest’s preeminent security firm, Jonathon Alexander Rose is known for his commanding persona. Although his reputation precedes him, Jonathon would rather live his days absent from the limelight, with his sexy audacious best friend, Octavia. His fiery passion for her has been Jonathon’s secret until he can no longer stand to be on the sidelines. When he decides to go after what he wants, nothing will stand in his way.
Call of the Wild by Simone Leigh….FREE!
Anna is a writer, making her living on the move and living her life as free as a bird. She seems to have complete freedom and a perfect life. But is everything as it appears?
Neanderthal Seeks Human by Penny Reid…FREE (but please double check before one-clicking!
That’s all for today, everyone. Have a Happy Halloween and stay safe!
Til next time…