Hello, everyone! It’s me again. This blog post actually has TWO purposes. The first part is to tell you an amusing story and, not gonna lie, the second half is going to be sort of spammy and tell you about books you could buy if you have the urge to buy a book. I feel guilty pimping out books (even though one of them is my own!), so that’s why I’m giving you an amusing story FIRST. It takes the pressure off and alleviates my guilty soul. Ready? Here we go!
Blog Post Part One: Amusing story:
So last Saturday we had a one day rummage sale. I was debating whether or not it was a wise idea to have a garage sale over Memorial Day Weekend, but we ended up with a lot of customers and made some decent money. Rummage sales are always a shit ton of work just to make a few bucks. However, the crap in my house was piling up (we go to estate sales and buy stuff thinking we’re going to sell it on Ebay and make a fortune. The stuff doesn’t sell, or sells for two dollars and we lose money after shipping, and then it starts to take over the house).
I spent SIX HOURS setting up the merchandise and pricing items. Let me tell you, we had ROCK BOTTOM prices in order to sell, sell, SELL! The universe smiled down upon us and the sun was shining that morning. It also helped that my neighbor across the street also had a sale. I think people are more apt to stop when they see two sales instead of one. I actually had no idea the neighbor was having a sale. We’re a bit anti-social and don’t talk to people unless we have to.
The sales traffic was good and the customers were amusing, as always. One elderly gentleman bought two Hawaiian shirts for a dollar and decided to entertain us with a joke. I have no clue what it is with old dudes and telling jokes. I think there’s an unwritten law that if you’re a male over the age of seventy-five, you have to tell a witty joke to every single person you meet. The joke of the day involved a woman running over a rabbit, a farmer sitting on a tractor and witnessing said bunny destruction, the woman sprayed the rabbit with a can of something, the rabbit miraculously came back to life, and the farmer went to see what was in the bottle and…….. any guesses???
I was one hundred percent sure the punch line was going to involve HAIR SPRAY, but it was HAIR RESTORER. Get it? Hair/Hare? Yeah, I wasn’t impressed either. Neither was my husband. He’s actually the most unfriendly person you’d ever want to meet. His usual response to people is a grunt instead of human conversation. So it’s endlessly hilarious to watch him be a ‘salesman’ at our rummage sales.
“Yes, ma’am, that weedwacker works just like new! Here plug it in and try it out! Don’t like a price? Make an offer!”
It’s like he’s a carnie at the fair trying to get rubes to his booth to throw a dart at a balloon. Total transformation from his normal self. I literally thought, “Who the hell ARE you?”
Along with the good, there also comes the BAD with any rummage sale. I had an item priced at a dollar and some lady came up and told me that she’d be paying me a quarter for it. Yeah, she TOLD me. There was no, “Will you take any less for this?” but rather, “I’ll give you a quarter, here.” Excuse me, ma’am? Since when do you make the rules at my fine establishment of priceless merchandise? I’m almost ashamed to admit this (almost, but not entirely), I refused her offer. “No, I’ll take fifty cents,” I replied. Yes, I’m an asshole. I couldn’t help it. I was nice ALL day and the façade just cracked.
What happened? Are you on the edge of your seat? She paid the fifty cents and walked away. No confrontation. Sorry to build that up for a giant let down, but my life isn’t that exciting. That’s why I write books!
Speaking of books…. (ooh….so proud of myself for that seamless transition to our next topic….)
BLOG POST PART 2…shameless book spamming!
Here are some books that might interest you. You are under no obligation to buy them. You are under no obligation to click on them. You are under no obligation for ANYTHING. I’m just throwing them out there for your viewing pleasure.
Book #1…. “Unexpected Treasure.” Yeah, this is MY book. Okay…HALF my book. I wrote this story with talented Miss Aidan Willows. We threw our insane ideas on paper and came up with quite an interesting tale. Here’s the blurb and buy link. It’s currently on sale for the low, low price of 99 cents. (It just came out on May 30 and this is our way of attracting BUZZ at a low, low price.)
Blurb: Lars is a man of mystery with one focus in life; searching for hidden treasures. If his latest risky expedition actually pays off, he’d be wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, and might finally be on the road to real happiness.
Helena is witty, charming, and utterly fed up with her life. Her whole future has been carefully mapped out, yet all she wants is to escape her controlled existence and live life to the fullest with no one dictating her every move.
A chance encounter of these two lost souls leads them on an adventure neither could have predicted. Accompanied by a rag tag group of treasure hunters, will Lars and Helena find what they’re looking for?
Or will they finally realize that the most important treasure of all has been hiding in plain sight?
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Please note, both authors are lunatics who don’t do “normal”. If you are expecting historically accurate facts or a romance that isn’t bat-sh*t crazy, this may not be the book for you. For mature/ immature readers aged 18+ only.
This book contains explicit sexual content (as one author is trying to live out her lesbian fantasies vicariously through her characters), and also contains unrealistic portrayals of treasure hunting (as the other author thinks she’s a history nerd… but really isn’t).
Book #2…. Fires of Revenge by Laura Fletcher… FREE!!!! (I have not read this but the blurb sounds good and what’s cheaper than free??)
Blurb: Mary, young and all alone has been living in poverty trying to make ends meet to look after her dying mother. Although she finds it impossible to put out a burning fire of revenge. After the passing of her mother, Mary must exact revenge on those who have wronged her and her mother.
She enlists the help of two unlikely sidekicks, Anna, her best friend and Elliot a poor, rough kid from the streets. Together, they join up to seek an adventure of life changing experiences. Where will they up together? Don’t miss out on this historical romance fueled by the heated emotion of revenge and justice.
Book #3…. Good Grief by Vera Ella Unita ($2.99 New Release) (Please note….I DID read this and it was a very good story. There was a dog on the cover and that hooked me right away. This is a great read with ‘all the feels’ and a heartfelt ending. Yes, I did get just a tiny bit teary reading the epilogue. That usually doesn’t happen with me.)
Jasmine Frost had imagined the first day at her new job quite differently. How on earth could she have known the arrogant billionaire Cole Ward would insist on her leading the renovations of his mansion?
To oversee the renovations, Jasmine moves in with Cole. Turns out, the mansion needs more than a little makeover, and she is stuck with that growly bear of a man for weeks. He doesn’t even like her French bulldog—who the hell doesn’t like puppies?
Still, they can’t withstand the strong attraction between them. The dark look in his eyes is intriguing and Jasmine can’t keep herself from digging into his past. But what if she doesn’t like what she finds?
Standalone Romance │ No cheating but bad language, explicit scenes, and a happily ever after.
Book #4…… Icarus Rising by Robb Manary (99 cents) (I haven’t read this, but it sounds juicy. For anyone who loves rockstar romances….why not?)
How does a Billionaire woo the Rock Star Goddess who has Everything?
LIMITED TIME INCLUDES ICARUS ASCENDANT AND STRANGERS ON A BUS! THREE STANDALONE ROMANCES FOR THE PRICE OF ONE – $0.99!
Brandon Fahr, international playboy and world-renowned artist, has set his sights on a new conquest. A conquest so bold that he’s decided to chronicle it in a diary. Further, he’s given himself a deadline — thirty days to capture the heart of Rachel St. Claire.
Rachel St. Claire, a Rock Goddess, has been at the top of the charts for years and has finally let go of her tumultuous relationship with her controlling manager/boyfriend. Now that he’s gone, it’s the perfect time for Brandon to strike.
Rachel feels the heat as soon as she meets Brandon, but what if she finds his diary and learns that it was just a game to him, a conquest? And what if Brandon finds that he might actually be falling in love… for the very first time?
This is a rock star erotic romance written by a man with a male point of view. It is a standalone with an HEA!
Book #5….. Alix (Coven’s Grove Chronicles Book 1) by Virginia Howerter FREE on Instafreebie! I didn’t read this, but it’s FREE and the cover is beautiful and it’s about witches! I should probably read it. I like free and I like witches!)
Building friendships isn’t easy…building a coven is even harder. Join Alix in a race for survival and her discovery that love and magic aren’t that far apart.
Book #6…. Lovin My boss by Miss Brandy K (FREE!) This is free…and I haven’t downloaded it…but I really should because it sounds HOT as HELL!
I want you to get on your knees.
“I’m not sucking it,” I say. Defiant.
“I didn’t ask you to. I’m satisfied with this, for now. On your knees. Between my legs, like that.”
I get down, between his knees. His hand strokes the big c*ck in front of me, so close that I can almost taste it. I don’t realize that I’m staring until I hear his voice above me.
“See something you like?”
What if you told your friend that you’d love to get your hands on your boss’s meat?
Now what if you sent the text to the wrong number? The most wrong number you could possibly send it to?
And what if he told you to come into his office?
This hot novel is all about power plays, sexy billionaires, marriage contracts, and babies. There are NO CLIFFHANGERS and a guaranteed HAPPILY EVER AFTER!
What would you do?
That is all we have for today, ladies and gentlemen. As always, thanks for reading and have a GREAT day!!!!