I wish my TV listened better…

My TV, and the people on it, do not listen when I yell.  I really wish I could change that.

No, I’m not talking about sports.  Sure, my husband yells at the TV when he watches football.  I think that’s a “guy thing.”  Everyone is an armchair coach.

What I’m talking about is all the OTHER programs on TV.  Especially bad reality TV, of which I might have a slight addiction to.  I can’t help it that I have such wisdom to impart to these people, yet they do not care.

Do you want examples?  Of course you do.

The prime show that I want to reach into the TV and grab the people by the throat, is a little gem on TLC called “90 Day Fiancee” and I DVR it every week and watch it with a passion that is perhaps unhealthy.  The premise of the show is that people from America fall in love with people from other countries and then get them a special visa so they have 90 days to come to America, get married, and live happily ever after.  I believe we’re on the fourth season of the show.  ** Spoiler Alert – so far every single couple have been married and NONE of them have walked away**.  This is very surprising to me.  There are a few cases where the American is good-looking and so is the lover that they import from abroad.  However, this is the rarity.  In most instances, the American is quite a bit older or overweight in comparison with the person they bring over.  Do you want examples?  There was an old man last season who had a daughter older than the 19 year old Filipino girl he imported to be his bride.  He was dead set against more kids and she agreed to that even though she really wanted them.  This caused me to scream at the TV.  “YOU ARE A YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL GIRL.  DON’T GIVE UP YOUR LIFE FOR MONEY.”  She didn’t listen and married him anyway.  The guy from this current season that totally pisses me off is Jorge.  He’s an overweight marijuana distributor (legally) who imported a Russian model-wannabe.  Jorge seems like a decent guy.  The Russian seems like a money-hungry skank who’s clearly after one thing $$$$.  She got all his passwords and shut off his phone because he wouldn’t buy her a $10,000 purse.  He brushed that off as her being feisty.  Okay….bad move Jorge.  Part of me feels bad for him because he’s obviously being taken advantage of.  The other part of me knows that it’s his own damn fault for going after someone so out of his league and being foolish enough to tolerate that behavior.  This leads to more screaming.  “JORGE, IF NO GIRLS IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY WILL DATE YOU, WHAT THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK A RUSSIAN MODEL IS INTERESTED IN YOU?”  Does he think all the Russian girls are magically only attracted to overweight men with low self-esteem?  I don’t think so.  Poor Jorge.  I’m really hoping he’ll ditch her pretty soon, but I doubt he will.

Please don’t think I’m the only person in my household who directs unhealthy amounts of rage at the TV.  Nope.  My husband is also a guilty culprit.  He can’t handle the shows on HGTV.  Yes, you read that correctly.  All the real estate shows where the people are buying primary (or vacation) homes in Hawaii or on Caribbean Islands…well…these send him right over the edge into insanity.  The shows start innocent enough and then we get to the part where the realtor asks them what their budget is…and I know the screaming is not far off.

Realtor:  “Well, sir.  I see that you are a tattoo artist from Albuquerque.  What is your budget for this home on St. Croix?”

Tattoo Artist:  “I would really like to stick to my budget of seven hundred thousand, but I would go up to nine hundred grand if the house is absolutely perfect.”

Cue the screams of “HOW THE HELL DOES A TATTOO ARTIST HAVE ALMOST A MILLION DOLLARS?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

Then my husband looks at me and tells me that we’re doing something wrong in life and I should go write more books.

Yeah, okay.  I’ll get right on that.  Unless I’m writing the Harry Potter series or 50 shades of porn, I don’t think I’m buying a house on St. Croix in the near future.

So…all you people in internet-land….what TV shows do you love to hate on?

I’d love to make this post longer, but I have to go write books.  Those Caribbean houses don’t pay for themselves!

Thanks for reading and have a great day.

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