My Summer Vacation…(with photos!)

Hello Everyone!  I haven’t done any recent blog posts because I went on a summer vacation to fabulous Las Vegas!  That means you’re stuck hearing about my vacation now.  Lucky you!

Whenever anyone I know goes on vacation, I always tell them to take lots of food pictures, pay attention for any sightings of famous people, and remember any good stories.  So that’s what you’re going to get today.

Food Pictures:

Here is the French pancake with caramelized apples that I ate for breakfast.  It was fantastic:

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We honestly had no bad food the entire time, which I was thankful for.  However, I do have one complaint that hopefully won’t bring on a firestorm of hate my way…  I’m an avid reader of the celebrity gossip magazines and they’re always mentioning how the movie stars go to “In-n-Out Burger” after all the awards shows.  So naturally, I wanted to try one.  If they’re good enough for the movie stars, bring it on!  Here is the picture of the burger:

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Where is it?  Exactly!  The hamburgers I get at McDonalds have more burger than that!  #NotImpressed.  The French fries were really good though.

Famous People Sightings:

I have traveled a fair amount in my life and I never see anyone famous.  I saw a soccer star in an airport once.  It was an American soccer star and not like David Beckham or anything.  I honestly have no idea how famous people (or even D-List reality stars) go anywhere without getting mobbed by people who know them.  Are there some secret back-door entrances to all these places that I don’t know about?  I didn’t even see any paparazzi!  It’s probably all for the best because I’d just point, stutter, and act like a total moron anyway.

There were a lot of beautiful people walking down the street though.  I live in a place that doesn’t have much in the way of eye-candy, so it was nice to see some new faces.  I told my husband that he should have a code word if he wanted to point out any hot chicks.  I can always appreciate a beautiful woman, so why not?  If I gave you, dear reader, a million guesses as to what he gave me for a code word, you still wouldn’t get it.  Are you consumed with curiosity yet?  “Tuberculosis.”  Yes, you read that correctly.  He chooses odd code words.  Needless to say, that word was never used the entire vacation because it’s the worst code word in the history of code words.

Good Stories:

One of the highlights of the vacation was feeding the fish at Lake Mead.  I’m an animal lover, so feeding any creature always appeals to me.  In case you’re unfamiliar with Lake Mead, it’s one of the national parks in Nevada.  It’s a beautiful lake surrounded by mountains and it was honestly just as breathtaking as the Grand Canyon.  I’ll show you so you can judge for yourself….

Lake Mead:

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Grand Canyon:

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Anyway, you walk down the pier at Lake Mead on your way to the boats in the marina.  Fish literally come up to the pier and open their mouths at you in the hopes you will feed them.  What do they want?  Popcorn.  Yes, you also read that correctly.  The fish eat popcorn that the tourists buy and throw to them.  I got two bags of the stuff, but I could have spent ALL day just throwing popcorn to the fish.  I also fed the ducks.  Here is a picture:

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Getting sick of pictures yet?  I have a few more and then you can go on with your lives.  This is a picture of a person sitting on a rock at the Grand Canyon:

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This is a picture from farther away so you can put it in perspective:

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What the hell is the matter with people?  ONE SNEEZE or ONE WRONG MOVE and you’ve just fallen to your death.

Do you know what else they have at the Grand Canyon?  Squirrels That Carry Fleas that Carry the Plague.  I shit you not.  Don’t believe me?  Here’s photographic proof:

squirrel plague

This is 2016 and we’re still worried about the plague?  Wow.  I did NOT even know that was a concern anymore.  It wasn’t on my radar, but perhaps it should be?

In conclusion…the vacation was awesome, I lost exactly eleven dollars gambling, the Grand Canyon has many hidden dangers including but not limited to the plague, and I think that Rocky and Violet might have to take a vacation to Vegas one of these days.

(In case you have no clue who Rocky and Violet are, they just happen to be the main characters in my book, My Dirty Detour.  Violet is a germaphobe and Rocky is ex-mafia.  What better place for them to go than Las Vegas?)

Thanks for reading and have a great day!

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